Episode Transcript
In episode 45 I shared with you what it means to become the observer of yourself and how it improves your life and wellbeing. I have been asked by a few of you to talk more about the first few steps to take towards that observership and why you might be struggling with this when you first try it out. So stay tuned.
If you have been trying to become more aware in your life. Or you are wanting to observe yourself more. And you might be struggling with it, then please cut yourself some slack.
Why would you think that this is easy and that you should be able to learn this in a matter of days? The concept of observing yourself is simple, but it is not easy. If it would be easy, everyone would be doing it. And they don’t.
※ AWARENESS AND OBSERVERSHIP NEED PRACTICE ※
So the first message is to stop judging yourself or thinking that you can’t do it. It’s all not true. Everybody can do it – you just need to practise. It’s like with everything else in your life where you want to learn something new. Most of us, don’t learn a foreign language in a week or learn how to play Mozart on the piano overnight. These things need practice – and that is the same with becoming the observer of yourself in your life.
Now let’s look at the reasons why you might be struggling with this or why it feels hard. Later on, I will give you 2 ways for you to begin to become observant of yourself and you can choose one of these ways to really get going.
※ YOU MIGHT BE STRUGGLING WHEN YOU BEGIN TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW ※
The obvious reason why you might be struggling is that you are just beginning to learn. You might not know really what to do and if what you are doing is right. It might just feel hard because it is new and learning something new feels always hard at the beginning. I want you to know that this is a never-ending journey. I am still learning new levels of observing myself. And I am never going to finish finding out new things about myself.
So this is not a race but rather a marathon. So you start small and build up over time with experience. And what might work at the beginning for you might look different for the next person. So keep doing the work and try it out in different ways and in different situations.
The most important part of this is to stay with it and not give up. If you give up, you literally give up on yourself. And I know you don’t want to do that. So keep showing up and keep reminding yourself to move into the role of the observer.
※ YOUR BODY AND MIND ARE RESISTING YOUR WISH TO BECOME MORE AWARE ※
Now that was the obvious reason. Let’s move on to the other reason that is not quite so obvious.
You want to become more aware and more observant in your life because you want to change something. If you were not interested in changing anything in your life, why would you need to become more aware?
So I will make this bold statement that you want to change something in your life [Episode 44]. This can be in your private life or your professional life. This can be about yourself or about another person. Or it is a habit you want to get rid of or a new habit you want to install. Or it can be certain feelings that you don’t want to feel anymore but rather want to feel more positive feelings.
Whatever it is that you want to change, your body and mind have become accustomed to the current way of thinking, acting, behaving and feeling. Whatever you want to change has grown into a part of your life, your identity, and your way of living [Episode 47]. It means that if you begin now to become more aware and observant for you to be able to change something, your body and part of your mind are not going to be happy about it.
※ YOUR BODY AND SUBCONSCIOUS MIND DO NOT WANT YOU TO CHANGE ※
Even if the change is beneficial for you and your health, your body and your subconscious mind will want you to keep living your life as you have done for the last 20 years. That’s what is programmed inside of you, so it is easy and effortless. That’s what feels like you because it has become part of who you are.
And your body and your subconscious mind do not assess something as being bad or good for you, they just like for you to stay as you are – that way we don’t have to spend additional energy on changing or moving in a direction that we cannot predict.
So if becoming more aware or stepping into the role of the observer feels hard to you or you think you are not doing it correctly, this might be your body influencing you to give up and stay the same. Does that make sense to you?
※ COMING UP AGAINST YEARS OF PROGRAMMING ※
This is what happens when we decide to make a significant change in our life or in ourselves. We come up against years and years of programming. And don’t ever underestimate the power of the body and the subconscious mind. Why do you think it is hard for some people to stop smoking, lose weight and keep it off or change to a more active lifestyle? Because we are coming up against ourselves, the programs we created for so many years.
And every time we attempted to change and failed [Episode 10], the body and subconscious mind won and you went back to your old self, your old way of living.
※ STEPPING OUT OF THE PROGRAM IS AWARENESS AND OBSERVERSHIP ※
When you realize that this is what happens, and you truly accept it and are up for the challenge, you already stepped out of the program and into the role of observing yourself. Do you see that? That magical moment you decide to change and not let the old programs inside of you win, you removed yourself out of these programs and into another version of yourself that is now able to watch these programs.
Now you are aware. Now you are wide awake and look at yourself through a new lens. THAT is what becoming the observer means.
※ BECOME AWARE OF THE PROGRAM AND STOP IT ※
So next time you are facing a situation where you want to change something – your thoughts, your reactions, your feelings – and you realize that it starts to feel difficult or you ask yourself if you are doing it right, stop yourself. Change your thoughts into: “Yes, I can do it. I am ready to learn this and I want to change.”
That is when you have found the exit to that program. You have overcome your body and mind and given them a clear message that you are the boss now.
Ok, I hope this will help you to move forward and not get discouraged to give up and believe that it does not work for you. So let’s have a look at 2 ways you can progress your awareness and your observership.
※ 2 STARTING POINTS TO RAISE YOUR AWARENESS AND OBSERVERSHIP ※
I would call these the 2 starting points. You can concentrate your efforts either on your thoughts or on your feelings. Obviously, there are many other ways to increase your awareness and I have talked about several others before. But I selected these 2 starting points for you to implement to seriously get started.
※ START TO OBSERVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON A DAILY BASIS ※
If you have a busy mind. Or you are highly analytical and lose yourself sometimes in details. If you are spending lots of time and energy thinking about the same situation or worry, then let’s use your thoughts to enter your practice in observership.
I want you to concentrate on the thoughts that you have during your day. And how can you best do this? By actually writing them down. Now, going through your complete day and writing every thought down that you have will be very time-consuming. So I suggest to you that you chose a time of the day to sit down and reflect on your thoughts of the last 24 hours.
※ AND HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO GET GOING: ※
- What thoughts are currently going through my head? What thoughts have kept my mind busy over the last 24 hours?
- What thoughts do I have that made me feel less happy, less energized and less hopeful? Anything that made you feel less in general.
- What thoughts do I have that I don’t want to think any longer?
Write down whatever comes to your mind, whatever you can observe already. Don’t judge these thoughts, don’t overanalyse these thoughts, if you want to keep writing on them to get them all out and explore them, sure, do that. But don’t overdo it. This is about awareness, not analysis.
Keep doing this exercise every day or as many days of the week as you can. With practice, you will get better at spotting those thoughts that you rather want to let go of. And what will happen is that you catch yourself more and more during the day when you actually have these thoughts because you brought them to the forefront of your awareness.
At that moment you observe yourself having this limiting thought. And if you catch yourself, you can stop yourself. So what thought do you rather want to have? What thought would you feel more energized, hopeful and happy and not less?
※ START TO OBSERVE YOUR FEELINGS ON A DAILY BASIS ※
And the same works for the 2nd starting point of feelings. If you are someone that is struggling more with feelings of worry, anxiety, hopelessness, powerlessness, guilt, shame, frustration, anger, and fear, then use your feelings as an entry point to become more aware of yourself. You can do the same exercise as I just mentioned but focus on your feelings instead of your thoughts.
※ HERE ARE SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU TO GET GOING: ※
- What feelings are currently inside of me? How have I been feeling over the last 24 hours?
- What feelings do I have that take my energy, that impacts my mood and my entire state of being?
- What emotions have I felt that I don’t want to feel any longer?
Again write these down once per day and your observership of yourself will get stronger. You will begin to catch yourself feeling a limiting feeling throughout your day and you can decide to stop feeling it but move rather to a feeling like love, freedom or gratitude. Decide what feelings you rather want to have in your life.
Both of these entry points are perfect to start your awareness practice. Both of these, thoughts and feelings, create a cycle inside of you that has become a program. And when this program switches on and gets triggered, you can either use your thoughts or your feelings to stop this cycle.
※ INVITATION TO USE ONE WAY TO RAISE YOUR AWARENESS AND OBSERVERSHIP ※
So I invite you to choose one of these – either your thoughts or your feelings – and start a daily journaling practice on them. It only takes a couple of minutes a day to raise your awareness and be able to become the boss of your own mind and body. It’s ultimately your choice when you decide to finally change and use awareness and observership as your secret weapon.
I hope I inspired you to finally make that change that you have been talking about for so long – you know exactly the one I am talking about.
