Episode Transcript
Happy New Year, everyone!
This is the time when we are used to setting New Year’s resolutions. I have done them in the past. And not all of them, but I did not stick with most of them. Lots of them even failed during January. So today I want to share with you what I do now instead. As you can imagine, I don’t have New Year’s resolutions in the typical sense anymore. When I want to change something, I approach it differently, with a different mindset, which helps me to stick with what I want.
※ PROBLEM #1 – WILLPOWER IS NOT ENOUGH ※
We will ourselves to go to the gym. We force ourselves because logically it makes sense for us so we can get fitter, healthier and look better. Whatever the reasons are we willfully get us to go to the gym. But willpower comes from the conscious mind which is just 5% responsible for our reality. 95% of who we are sits in our subconscious mind. So the willpower in the 5% fights now against the 95% of who you are – and guess who wins?
That is why we give up on New Year’s resolutions so quickly. Willpower is just not enough. It can give us a short burst at the beginning of the year and then it fades away as it cannot keep up against the opposing beliefs, likes and dislikes that are programmed in our subconscious mind. That leads me to problem number 2
※ PROBLEM #2 – WE STAY THE SAME PERSON ※
We want to change something in our lives, but internally we stay the same person. I never learned properly about change when I was young. Not at school or from any of my parents – they didn’t know this either.
I always thought that you make changes on the outside and that’s the only thing you can do. So if I want to stop eating sugar, I just have to stop eating sugar. Remove all the sweets, chocolate and candy from my kitchen. And that should do the trick.
By now we probably have had enough experience trying to change a habit like that and failing at it. We know that it’s not that easy. And that’s true. What I described is not working. Because internally you are still a person that likes to eat sugary treats. You have not changed your beliefs, your perceptions, or your identity as a person who loves to eat sweets and chocolate.
So just taking away the sweets and chocolates in your environment aka your house, is not going to make you instantly into a person that does not like or want to eat sweets or chocolate anymore. I will share with you in a minute how you can better approach changing habits like that in the future. But let me cover one more problem that is typical when it comes to New Year’s resolutions.
※ PROBLEM #3 – WE PUT OUR GOALS THAT WE WANT TO REACH INTO THE FUTURE ※
Let me give you a few examples:
1. If I go now to the gym for the next year, I will finally be a fit person.
2. If I stop eating sugar for a year, I will be able to lose weight and get healthier.
3. If I work really hard this new year, I finally can go for the promotion that I want.
All of these statements have goals, hopes and dreams that are based on the future. But if you think and talk like that, then your goal will always just be in the future. You want to bring it into the now. Now, the present moment is the only time we can actually make a change. We cannot make a change in the future, as the future does not yet exist.
So having the thought that one day you will be able to lose weight means that you never lose weight in the here and now. Because you are telling your reality and your body that the losing of weight is still in the future and not happening now.
This might seem now pretty clear and simple to you. And it is. But we think very often like that without realizing it. If we think, believe or say that something will happen in the future, then there is the possibility that it will never happen in the now. So watch out for how you think and speak.
※ EMBODY THE FUTURE YOU NOW ※
But let me get to a way of making a change in your life that solves all of these 3 problems. And that is to embody the future you already now.
When I want to be a person who doesn’t drink alcohol for a year, then I am not waiting for a year to be over to be that person. No, I decide to be that person already now. I don’t try to be that person. I am that person. I am already living in the body and mind of a person who doesn’t drink alcohol.
I ask myself how the person who has accomplished this thinks, how they behave, how they speak. That way I start to be that person already now.
※ BECOME THE PERSON NOW AND NOT IN A YEAR ※
By embodying the person that you want to be in a year now, you overcome the problem of willpower being limited. You are already changing your identity, your beliefs and perceptions now to be that new person and therefore your subconscious programming changes and you don’t have to fight it anymore through willpower.
You are going to be a fit person in a year because you went to the gym for a year. Why not be a fit person now? How does a fit person behave? How do they think about going to the gym? How does a fit person who goes every week to the gym talk about their fitness? Who says that you have to first go for months and months to the gym to call yourself fit? I don’t. I tell you to be a fit person now and live your life with this new identity.
※ CHANGE YOUR IDENTITY TO THE NEW VERSION OF YOU NOW ※
If you don’t want to each sugar for a year and lose weight, then be the person that loses weight now. If you are embodying the person who has lost the weight that you want to lose, how does that person maintain that new body weight? How do they think about sweets and sugar? What are their habits and behaviours around chocolate and candy given that they lost all of that weight and feel now so much healthier?
That way you are not staying the same person who just removes the sugar from your kitchen. No, you changed on the inside and became a new person now. And who knows? Maybe that person who lost all the weight and feels healthy has great habits of eating sugar and sweets every now and then as a treat – in a healthy kind of way.
※ GO FOR YOUR DREAM PERSONALITY AND LIFE NOW ※
The third example was working hard in 2024 so you can go for the promotion afterwards. Who says that you cannot go for the promotion now? I bet you are the kind of person who is already doing a great job. So why wait? Start to have conversations about a promotion with your boss or other leaders in your company now and not just in a year. They could even help you to get there much quicker if they know that’s your goal and you are working towards it.
And if this promotion you are looking for is outside of your company, why wait to write your resume now and apply for jobs? Maybe you have the thought: Well, I need to be in my current role for 3 years before I can go for the next job. Bullshit. I worked for over 10 years in HR and that’s not true.
There are companies out there that promote people after 2 years. Or they will just see your potential and don’t care about the 3 years because they want you now. Embody the person that is getting the promotion now. How does this person who just got the promotion think? How do they speak? What have they done to get the promotion so quickly?
