How to Make Decisions That Stick E119

If you are fed up with making decisions and then not sticking with them, then this episode is for you. It’s disheartening if we keep failing ourselves, especially in those areas that are really important to us. I get it. So how about we change this? I’ve got a secret weapon for you today when it comes to making decisions that actually stick. And that is making determining decisions instead of decisions that you might have made in the past – and then failed to go through with them. So what is a determining decision? ※ DEFINITION OF A DETERMINING DECISION ※ A determining decision is what I like to call a decision that is made with extraordinary energy and conviction for a significant impact. It carries more energy than other decisions we make on a day-to-day basis. Our subconscious mind takes these kinds of decisions more seriously if the determination and energy are high enough. You might ask yourself now: Does my subconscious mind not take all of my decisions seriously? And the answer is no. It doesn’t. So let me give you a couple of examples to show you how the subconscious mind does not take a decision as seriously as you might think. ※ EXAMPLE #1 OF A FAILED DECISION ※ You are trying to create a new morning routine where you get up early and complete some self-care before work, like exercise, journaling or meditation. You’ve tried to implement it before but failed a few times already, always choosing the extra hour in bed over self-care. You hope it’s going to work this time, but when the morning comes you hit the snooze button and tell yourself that you are going to start tomorrow with the new habit. What do you think how seriously does your subconscious mind take your decision to start the new routine the next day? Well, not much. It has evidence that you probably won’t follow through and it’s safe to say that nothing is going to change the next morning. ※ EXAMPLE #2 OF A FAILED DECISION ※ In the second example, one of your colleagues at work really rattles you with their attitude towards teamwork and when you are faced with it, you get emotional and snap at her. Later you feel guilty about your behaviour and beat yourself up – so much that you decide to act differently around her next time. Next time comes: She says something that you don’t agree with and you go into the emotional rollercoaster again. You let yourself be triggered and react how you always react towards her. You might even tell yourself that it’s her and not you, so you have an excuse for not changing your behaviour. Do something like that a few times in your life and how seriously is your subconscious mind going to take you and your promises to change towards people that trigger you? Not at all, because we have an easy way out – let’s put the fault onto the other person. ※ YOUR MIND NOT TAKING YOUR DECISIONS SERIOUSLY ※ Do you remember from other episodes, that 95% of who we are by the time you are 35 years old is made up of automated programs? And one of those programs is backtracking on decisions you made. Or never following through with any ideas that come to you. You programmed your subconscious mind to not take your decisions too seriously. It does not understand if this is something good or bad for you. It just follows your orders and your orders in the past have been to not go through with decisions. Does that make sense to you now? That is the reason why a life-impacting and lasting decision you want to make needs more Oomph than the usual attempts when we try to make a decision stick. A decision that you want to make to finally change your life has to be full of determination. If you take it lightly or deep down you might not even believe that it’s going to work, what do you think is going to happen? It’s not going to work. Or it might work for a little while. And then you end up in the same place as you are now or worse. How will you change and go up against that 95% of your automated programs when you are not fully behind your decision? ※ MY PERSONAL EXAMPLE OF MAKING A DETERMINING DECISION ※ I made a determining decision when I was burned out that was probably one of the most impactful decisions I ever made in my life. I can see that now looking back at it and seeing how it changed the trajectory of my life. It was one of these forks in a timeline where that decision let me move way off of my original path. When I was off of work due to my burnout, the first 2 weeks nothing really changed. Yes, I was less stressed because I was not working. However, I successfully kept myself busy with housework, shopping, and DIY projects around the apartment. After those 2 weeks, I made a decision: I am not going to go back to work in the same state that I am currently in. Something fundamentally inside of me has to change before I allow myself to go back to work. Otherwise, I will just be doing the same thing over and over again, burning out months or a year later. And you know what happened? Everything changed. My subconscious mind took this decision seriously and started supporting me, instead of working against me. It finally helped me to make the changes I needed and wanted. Suddenly insights and AHA moments came to me with ease. Everything fell into place. It was like a dam broke and the water could flow freely and unhindered. ※ SO WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS OF A DETERMINING DECISION? ※ How can you make Determining Decisions from now on forward? 1. An uncompromising and determined mindset 2. Thinking like “This is it. No more from now on. Enough is enough.” 3. No backsies. Tell yourself and your subconscious mind that this is your final decision and you are not going to take it back. 4. Make it count. Take the time to really let it sink into your subconscious mind. Sit with it in silence for a while. 5. Feel it. Feel the energy of this decision flow through you, like an internal shiver. Now you have the secret weapon to make powerful decisions in your life – but just if you want to. Not all your decisions have to be like that. But I am sure you know where in your life you could leverage this new tool to finally make that change that you wanted to make for such a long time.